Due to the current hostile environment in the international surrogacy arena, I have decided to put this blog on inactive status.
Currently, there is nothing positive coming out of the international surrogacy world after India's game-changing new policy that took effect in late 2013. There does not seem to be any momentum to reverse this ruling, to the contrary India is going the opposite direction and making things difficult for any foreigner doing surrogacy in India, even those who abide by the current regulations.
I have been getting emails from many IPs who are using India, Thailand, ex-USSR countries, and Mexico and it's always the same old song and dance: their journeys are fraught with difficulties, multiple cycles, overcharging, timing surprises, poor communication with clinics, questionable clinic practices and communications, constantly changing laws with the destination country and also immigration/citizenship requirements from their own countries. In this environment, I applaud those who still have the courage (and $$$$) to pursue their dreams of parenthood via surrogacy but feel in many ways the abuse stories are far outnumbering the tales of success. I would exercise extreme caution if you decide to go this route and if your finances allow try to be there in person for the initial phases of your treatment (meet surrogate, implantation, retrieval, etc).
Some recommendations:
- I have found over the years that direct in-person contact with the clinics and doctors usually results in greater success rates (actually much higher success rates). As convenient as it is to forego face-to-face communication and go the shipping route, sometimes the lack of a human connection with the parties involved can translate to reduced success. Can't emphasize this enough
- Middle-men and surrogacy agencies. These are popping up daily and it's impossible to know who is reputable and who isn't. Just the other day I spoke with a gay male who was getting ready to wire money to an outfit in Colorado that claimed surrogacy was legal for gays in Panama and they were currently cycling clients there. I don't want to mention names but you can find this med tourism agency yourself if you do the research. The bottom line is approach everything you hear with extreme suspicion. The only countries where surrogacy is currently legal for gays/singles are the US and Thailand (huge issues here with birth certificates, lack of clinics, ever-changing national laws, political instability). If anyone else tells you that they have had success anywhere else, you must ask for references of those success stories and verify yourself as much as possible. Reminder: when dealing with international countries (Third World) your legal rights as a foreigner in those countries are zero. If you do find a reputable agent or facilitator do keep in mind that even these folks are very limited in what they can do for you. Their only value really is that they deal with volume and they can be gatekeepers of sorts in knowing the history of a clinic and its "true" success rates. But NEVER EXPECT any clinic or facilitator to tell you the true story of what is going on behind the scenes with the clinics they are working with. Usually they have signed confidentiality agreements with these clinics and are not able to speak freely if things go sour.
- Speaking to the media - I don't recommend this. The majority of international media is against surrogacy and international IVF based on their perceived notion that this is morally unacceptable or equate it to exploitation, reproductive slavery, and human trafficking. Even journalists with the best intentions typically produce stories that are critical of the entire process and make the IPs look immoral for pursuing such a path to parenthood. The net effect is to cause a negative impression for the entire surrogacy model, even where there have been success stories and all parties are happy with the outcome
- Blogging - Not recommended. This gives people a false sense of what is going on with this model. Typically 95% of all blogs are positive and report live births, you never hear from the negative stories or failure to produce a live birth. The international success rate for IVF/surrogacy is somewhere between 30-40%, so if all the blogs you are reading point to success you should be very skeptical and realize that for every 3-4 blogs you read that are positive there are 6-7 other blogs with sad stories or outcomes by IPs who are too devastated to publicize their stories. BE VERY WARY OF ANY CLINICS THAT HAVE A HIGH BLOGGER PRESENCE ON THE INTERNET - THAT IS PURELY A MARKETING STRATEGY AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE REALITY OF WHAT IS GOING ON. Oftentimes these bloggers are compensated for their positive postings, so their motivations and integrity are suspect.
- Surrogacy in US - this is the GOLD STANDARD for surrogacy for anyone these days. It is very expensive but there are agencies that are getting creative and figuring out ways to lower costs. If you can find a surrogate yourself in the US and get creative with medical care and avoiding huge agency and legal fees then realistically your costs will be slightly higher than what you'd pay in Thailand. A typical US surrogate is compensated anywhere from 18K to 30K for her services, as a point of reference.
Good luck to everyone. Glad to help you with any questions you might have if my time permits. I wish I had a more positive message and outlook for this model for 2014 but unfortunately we are in a time right now where there is great resistance from the public and politicians in most of the countries where this type of medical service is economically feasible.
